According to the IOCDF, the average range of time for people to receive treatment for OCD is between 14 to 17 years*. 14 to 17 years of suffering in silence and feeling isolated because of their obsessions and compulsions. It is very important to understand why there is such a delay in treatment for people who suffer from OCD and what we can do to help reduce the time that people can receive proper treatment. 

Why the delay? I think it is important to dive into what makes OCD so incredibly isolating and fear inducing. Let's take a look at a common, yet very taboo type of fear: being a pedophile. Now, before we dive into this type of OCD, there is a HUGE difference between someone who has pedophillic disorder and someone that has pedophilic obsessions with OCD. 

Pedophillic disorder: finding pleasure in and seeking out sexual fantasies and acts with prepubescent children. These thoughts are welcomed and arousing. 

Pedophillic subtype of OCD: finding extreme discomfort and fear of pedophillic thoughts and avoidance of interaction with children. These thoughts are unwanted and intrusive. 

For someone with pedophillic OCD, the fear that they may be a pedophile causes extreme distress and will make them avoid interactions with children or even places where children may be present. This can be especially devastating for parents, who sometimes unwillingly distant themselves and avoid relationships with their own children because they are afraid that they may be capable of acting on these unwanted and intrusive thoughts. 

This a prime example of why there is a 14 to 17 year delay in treatment for OCD, especially in terms of obsessions that are as taboo as pedophillia. How would someone that is having pedophillic OCD obsessions disclose to anyone the nature of their thoughts without fear of repercussion? They are already fearful that they may be a pedophile, let alone the fear of having someone else have a concern that they may be a pedophile. 

These are not the only type of thoughts that can be isolating for someone with OCD. OCD can also present with thoughts of violently hurting other people including loved ones. The dynamic is the same with intentional harm OCD obsessions, people would have these thoughts and  experience incredible distress from them because they don't want to act on them. Since the fear is so great, they start to avoid situations and people where they could potentially harm someone else. Distancing themselves from important relationships in their lives. But again, how is this supposed to be addressed? There is an understandable fear meeting with a doctor or therapist with the concern of violently hurting others around you. 

For people with OCD, they are not of danger to others like it may seem. Actually, it's quite the contrary. They place such high importance and value on not hurting others, that is exactly what OCD likes to "pick on." Just like with other stigma around mental health, education and understanding is the most important aspect of reducing stigma. Knowing that these thoughts are a product of OCD can significantly reduce the shame that a person can feel for them to occur and allow them to receive the treatment that they need. Reach out to a trained therapist that is used to working with OCD. You don't have to take this journey alone!

​https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/What-You-Need-To-Know-About-OCD.pdf

Anxiety. Lets be honest, it doesn't always make a whole lot of sense. However, there is more to anxiety that you may just see on the outside. It can be confusing when a loved one is struggling with an anxiety disorder and difficult to understand how they can be "worked up" over something so simple or illogical. As a therapist that specializes working with people with anxiety disorders and OCD, here are some things that I think are important for family members to know to better understand their loved ones:

1. ​Anxiety and an anxiety disorder are different. While they are both based in the same emotion, the brain is "wired" differently in an anxiety disorder which creates more difficulty for the person to control and manage the feeling. While you may be able to experience stress or anxiety and manage it well, the experience for someone that is struggling with a mental health condition such as an anxiety disorder will have a vastly different experience.
2. Anxiety is our mind's and body's fear response. When our body senses danger, it responds in the fight or flight response (pretty much all of the symptoms you think of when you think of anxiety). Your loved one's responses are derived from significant and distressing fear that their anxiety convinces them will surely happen. Think of something that creates uncomfortable, intense fear for you. Now imagine being 100% convinced that this fear is an imminent danger of coming true. Now, experience this distressing fear all day. This is the life of someone struggling with anxiety.
3. While their anxiety may be irrational, it is REAL. Your loved one may tell you what they are feeling anxious about but it may make no sense to you. Actually, your loved one may also be able to identify that the thought they are having is completely irrational as well. However, the feeling that it creates in them is REAL anxiety. It may not seem like a big deal to you, however, it is a massive deal to them. Anxiety has a knack for reducing our ability to sort our rational and irrational thoughts, making managing these times even more difficult for them.
4. Therapy is for the strong, not the weak. There is a stigma that when someone seeks counseling, it creates shame because the person is not "strong enough" to do this on their own. This has always seemed odd to me because if someone breaks their arm and gets a cast, we don't shame them for going to the doctor and not doing it on their own. It is important to remember for the clients that I see struggling with anxiety, they are facing their most significant and distressing fears head on. In my eyes, the people willing to commit to that are strong and courageous beyond compare. 
5. Progress, not perfection. There is no timeline for therapy. I wish there was. I wish when someone came into my office I could say, "I'll have you out of here in 10 weeks!" However, I know that I cannot guarantee that timeline nor is a timeline relevant. We will work hard to get to the goals set as quickly as possible but we will always go as long as it takes to get there.

As a family member, what can you do to best support your loved one? Here are a few things to keep in mind.

1. Validate when your loved one feels anxious. You do not have to say their fear is rational, however, it is important to be there to recognize that their reaction is real. While a statement such as "it's a not a big deal" may sound helpful, it dismisses how the person feels because it is a big deal for them. Instead try, "I can see this is really hard for you." 
2. Acknowledge their successes, especially the small ones. It is easy to focus on the end goal of "being better." However, there are going to be many small successes that your loved one will have that are important to focus on. 
3. Ask this very important question: "what can I do to help?" Be there as a support and as someone that can help aid in the recovery process.

Having an understanding of how an anxiety disorder can effect someone and the ways to be most supportive to your loved one during these times can improve your loved one's progress in therapy. A supportive and understanding family member can be a major asset to help them regain control of their lives back from anxiety.

Have more questions about this topic?